grief?
stress stress stress
Is it weird that I'm no longer as organized as I used to be even with the responsibility of taking care of Nathan and school? My whole world right now is just a mess. I'm trying so hard in school and yet my mind just isn't there. I have zero productivity in my daily life and I just feel like I've been just living my life..just day to day. I'm still having trouble falling asleep and I've also been having trouble even waking up. I'd try to set my alarm clock to 5 different times and it's still hard waking up. I'm always fatigued and I've been having some back pain and head aches for 2 weeks now. We're planning on having a dinner with Tita Rachel sometime this week and so I'm sure it'll help Tj and I some just by hearing about their experience and how they dealt with their grief. I always thought maybe "grief" would mean crying all the time staying in my room all day..but I don't know. I don't know what "stage" of "grief" I'm currently in, all I know is that it's eating me up inside. I can laugh and I can smile..but deep inside I'm just not the same. Lord help me.
Is it weird that I'm no longer as organized as I used to be even with the responsibility of taking care of Nathan and school? My whole world right now is just a mess. I'm trying so hard in school and yet my mind just isn't there. I have zero productivity in my daily life and I just feel like I've been just living my life..just day to day. I'm still having trouble falling asleep and I've also been having trouble even waking up. I'd try to set my alarm clock to 5 different times and it's still hard waking up. I'm always fatigued and I've been having some back pain and head aches for 2 weeks now. We're planning on having a dinner with Tita Rachel sometime this week and so I'm sure it'll help Tj and I some just by hearing about their experience and how they dealt with their grief. I always thought maybe "grief" would mean crying all the time staying in my room all day..but I don't know. I don't know what "stage" of "grief" I'm currently in, all I know is that it's eating me up inside. I can laugh and I can smile..but deep inside I'm just not the same. Lord help me.
posted by jaimee at
1:31 PM
2 Comments:
You know, Jaimee, I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately also. It's really weird because ever since I delivered Emily, I never had dreams about her and I slept really well. Then 2 weeks ago, I finally had a dream about her and ever since then.. I haven't been able to sleep. It takes me hours to fall asleep and when I finally do fall asleep.. I have to get up to feed Ethan. All I do is think about Emily and what could have been or what I would be doing if she were here with us. There are no words or things that I can do to help ease your pain, but I am here if you ever need anyone to talk to.
I came upon this website called SHARE when I created my team for March for Babies. Although it was created for NICU families, it may help if you shared your story? There are many moms & dads who have also lost their children to different things and you may find comfort in knowing that you're not in this alone. I know I did.
Take care. <3
Jaimee, have you heard of John Piper? He's a pretty famous preacher and author. His daughter-in-law keeps a blog, and she's written a lot about grief on it. She lost her second child a couple years ago.
http://thepipers.wordpress.com/category/grief/
It might help just to hear the thoughts of another mommy who loves God and gave her child to Him, too.
love you.
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